Taking the Guesswork Out of How Much to Give for a Friend’s Wedding
The First Thought After Receiving a Wedding Invitation: “How Much Should I Give?”
A wedding invitation arrives from a friend you have not heard from in a while. You feel happy to hear from them, but at the same time, a mental calculator starts running. Will giving too little seem rude? Will giving too much feel burdensome? In reality, wedding gift money is usually decided by three things: closeness × attendance × your own finances.
| Section | Key summary |
|---|---|
| The First Thought After Receiving a Wedding Invitation: “How Much Should I Give?” | A wedding invitation arrives from a friend you have not heard from in a while |
| Suggested Amounts by Relationship and Attendance | The guide below is not an absolute rule, but a starting point that helps you decide quickly |
| 4 Steps to Decide the Amount | Define the relationship: Have you met privately in the past year? |
| Returning What You Received Is the Cleanest Rule | If you have a record, matching the same amount or going one level higher will prevent mistakes |
| Envelope Etiquette: Keep These Basics | Place the bills facing the same direction |
| Wedding Gift Money Should Reflect Both the Relationship and Your Finances | For a friend’s wedding gift money, you need a guideline more than a fixed answer sheet |
Suggested Amounts by Relationship and Attendance
The guide below is not an absolute rule, but a starting point that helps you decide quickly. Just remember that, when attending, the basic sense is whether the amount covers the meal cost, usually 60,000 to 80,000 won per person.
| Relationship | When attending | When not attending |
|---|---|---|
| Someone you only know by face | 50,000 won | 50,000 won |
| A friend you see occasionally | 50,000 to 70,000 won | 50,000 won |
| Close friend | 100,000 won | 50,000 to 70,000 won |
| Very close friend or lifelong friend | 150,000 to 200,000 won | 100,000 won |
| Attending as a couple | 150,000 to 200,000 won | - |
4 Steps to Decide the Amount
- Define the relationship: Have you met privately in the past year? If so, consider them at least a close friend.
- Reflect attendance: If you attend and eat at the reception, you should basically cover the meal cost. If you do not know the per-person meal cost, estimate 80,000 won for a hotel or wedding hall and 60,000 won for a regular venue.
- Adjust for your finances: If you have 3 family events or ceremonies in the same month, do not overextend yourself. It is fine to choose the lower end of the amounts in the table above.
- Set the number: It is customary to use odd-numbered amounts such as 5, 7, 10, or 15. However, round amounts like 10 or 20 are acceptable exceptions.
Returning What You Received Is the Cleanest Rule
If you are unsure, think back to how much that friend gave at your wedding or your child’s first-birthday party. If you have a record, matching the same amount or going one level higher will prevent mistakes. If this is your first time giving, the table above will become the standard for the future.
Envelope Etiquette: Keep These Basics
- Write your name on the left side of the front of the envelope, and write your affiliation, such as company name or club, in small letters next to it so the bride and groom know who it is from.
- New bills are polite, but if you do not have them, clean bills that are not too crumpled are fine.
- Place the bills facing the same direction. It makes them easier for the recipient to count.
- When sending by bank transfer, leave your name accurately as the depositor name and send a separate congratulatory message as well.
Wedding Gift Money Should Reflect Both the Relationship and Your Finances
For a friend’s wedding gift money, you need a guideline more than a fixed answer sheet. Consider how close you are, whether you are attending, whether you previously received money from them, and what your budget looks like this month. An amount that strains you becomes a burden, not a celebration.
When you cannot attend, the message may matter more than the amount. Leaving even a short note of congratulations and apology makes it feel less like you only sent money.