Questions That Help Narrow Your Options When You Cannot Decide
Indecision Is Not Usually Caused by a Lack of Information
Spending hours over one menu item or one job change does not mean you are lazy. It happens because there are too many options and because you are trying to find the “perfect answer.” A good decision is not about finding the single right answer, but about quickly choosing an answer that is good enough.
| Section | Key summary |
|---|---|
| Indecision Is Not Usually Caused by a Lack of Information | Spending hours over one menu item or one job change does not mean you are lazy |
| 5 Questions That Narrow Your Options | Write the questions below on paper in order and answer them |
| Use 10-10-10 to Shift Your Perspective | Your current emotions can cloud your decision |
| Decision-Making Is Not About Finding the Right Answer, but Clarifying Your Criteria | Short key point |
What you need is not more information, but a few questions that quickly reduce your options. Questions gather the scattered criteria in your head into a single line.
5 Questions That Narrow Your Options
Write the questions below on paper in order and answer them. If you only think about them in your head, the same thoughts keep circling, but writing them down makes your criteria clearer.
- Step 1: Ask, “Is this decision reversible?” If it can be reversed, simply decide within 10 minutes. If it is hard to reverse, move on to the next question.
- Step 2: Ask, “Will this still matter 1 year from now?” If it is something you will not even remember 1 year from now, it is not worth agonizing over for too long right now.
- Step 3: Write down, “What is the result I fear most, and how bad would it actually be?” When vague fear becomes a sentence, it usually becomes more manageable.
- Step 4: Imagine, “What would I advise someone I care about if they had the same dilemma?” Advice for someone else is usually clearer.
- Step 5: Reduce the remaining options to 2, write only “3 good points and 1 concern” for each, then choose the one you feel more drawn to.
Use 10-10-10 to Shift Your Perspective
Your current emotions can cloud your decision. When you stretch out the time frame, the weight of the decision changes. Write one line each for: “If I make this choice, how will I feel 10 minutes from now, 10 months from now, and 10 years from now?” In most cases, you will realize that the discomfort after 10 minutes is the biggest part, and that 10 years later it will barely matter.
| Criteria | Option A | Option B |
|---|---|---|
| Is it reversible? | Yes | No |
| Will it matter 1 year from now? | No | Yes |
| Most feared result | Slight loss | Relationship discomfort |
| Level of attraction (10 points) | 7 points | 5 points |
If the habit of postponing decisions continues to strain your daily life and relationships, getting help from a professional to look into your mind can also be a good choice.
Decision-Making Is Not About Finding the Right Answer, but Clarifying Your Criteria
When you cannot decide, it may feel as if gathering more information will help, but in reality it often creates more options and more confusion. First, reduce your options by writing down what you want to gain, what you absolutely want to avoid, and what you can try now.
If two options remain similar to the end, it may mean both are good enough. In that case, it is better to choose the one you can test sooner and on a smaller scale.