When Perfectionism Stops You from Starting
To start exercising, you feel you need a perfect schedule; to write, your first sentence has to be impressive. In the end, you start nothing. Perfectionism may look like “high standards,” but in reality it is closer to “not standing at the starting line because you are afraid of failing.” If you never start, you cannot fail, so this is the brain’s way of escaping to safety.
| Section | Key summary |
|---|---|
| Introduction | In the end, you start nothing |
| How perfectionism blocks the start | Perfectionists picture the result in their head as a perfect 100-point outcome |
| Shift the standard from “completion” to “trying” | Short key point |
| 5 steps to get moving first | Give yourself permission in advance to stop after 5 minutes |
| One phrase for handling fear | You can only see what is lacking by trying, and that information makes the next attempt faster |
| The first version is supposed to look rough | Perfectionism blocks the start because the finished version in your head looks too good |
How perfectionism blocks the start
Perfectionists picture the result in their head as a perfect 100-point outcome. Then the first real step always looks shabby, so they cannot bring themselves to act. For example, if you imagine a “perfect blog,” the clumsy sentence you can write right now feels pathetic, and you close the notebook. The higher the ideal, the higher the threshold for starting becomes.
Shift the standard from “completion” to “trying”
- Change the goal from “doing it well” to “trying it.”
- Declare in advance, “First drafts are supposed to be messy.”
- Instead of aiming for 100 points, set the line at “If it is 60 points, submit it for now.”
5 steps to get moving first
- Step 1: Break the task down into something “ridiculously small.” Not “exercise,” but “put on workout shoes and stand by the front door.”
- Step 2: Set a timer for just 5 minutes and only do it for that time. Give yourself permission in advance to stop after 5 minutes.
- Step 3: Make the “ugly version first.” If it is writing, ignore spelling and write 5 lines of whatever comes to mind; if it is drawing, start with a doodle.
- Step 4: Circle “I started today,” not completion. Count starting itself as success.
- Step 5: One thing at a time. Let go of the desire to perfect several things at once and touch only the smallest single task.
One phrase for handling fear
When you feel blocked from starting, try saying something more specific than “It’s okay if it’s not perfect.” Say, “This is practice, and even if I mess it up, there will be another version.” In reality, the first attempt is closer to data collection. You can only see what is lacking by trying, and that information makes the next attempt faster.
Perfectionism is a trace of effort, so it is nothing to be ashamed of. Just use that force not “to block the start,” but “to refine things after starting.” If being unable to start and blaming yourself keep repeating and begin to eat away at your work and self-esteem, exploring the root of that fear with a professional can also be a good option.
The first version is supposed to look rough
Perfectionism blocks the start because the finished version in your head looks too good. The first real sentence, first workout, or first attempt naturally looks lacking by comparison. But you need a lacking first version before there is anything to improve.
When you feel blocked from starting, decide to mess it up for just 5 minutes. If you briefly set down the desire to do well and move your hands, the next step appears more easily than you expect. Perfectionism should be used to refine things after you have started.